just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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