wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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