He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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