Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
