I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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