yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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