so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
