This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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