I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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