You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
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I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one