I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad