I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
