two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
