eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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