That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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