at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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