man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
