Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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