You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
