I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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