I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
