Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's Friday. Sex?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
