Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
