I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
