At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
