My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
