Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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