Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
