The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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