It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
