Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize