And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Did I show you my penis last night?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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