the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize