I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
