Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Someone shit on the floor
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you would pick up someone in the library
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
