dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
