the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
