My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
