two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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