Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She's the barista slut.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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