Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
