Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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