I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
