What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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