Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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