My sheets look like a crime scene.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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