His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
