Just fell off a train. Bad.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
