I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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