well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
