best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
