I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am mentally ready for anal.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
